Books on healthy dating relationships

31-Mar-2017 06:56

Relationships can play a major role in our lives, especially during the teen years. Sometimes we associate with people who may not have our best interests in mind.It's vital that you learn to recognize a healthy relationship from a harmful one.

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Big Question: Do both of us have both feet in this relationship or are one or both of us, actively or quietly resisting it?These situations happen because we are looking for the hallmarks of a relationship (what we feel are the markings such as regular sex, stuff in common, being introduced, talking about the future etc) but we’re not looking for the landmarks of a relationship (the substance): When someone has limited access to their emotions and has limits to how much they will let you in, you cannot have genuine intimacy in your relationship.If one or both of you are doing things to protect yourself from being vulnerable, are living in denial, are going round the houses communicating, and struggle to be truly honest and authentic, intimacy isn’t happening. And if it is true (Tolstoy was, after all, one of the most astute students of human nature who ever lived), then does that mean every healthy relationship of any kind is the same as any other of that same kind?Does it mean that a healthy relationship between any particular father and son is substantially the same as any other between a father and son? As individual people, we can make a mess of our lives and relationships in ways so unique to us personally that no one could possibly imitate or duplicate. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.

Big Question: Do both of us have both feet in this relationship or are one or both of us, actively or quietly resisting it?

These situations happen because we are looking for the hallmarks of a relationship (what we feel are the markings such as regular sex, stuff in common, being introduced, talking about the future etc) but we’re not looking for the landmarks of a relationship (the substance): When someone has limited access to their emotions and has limits to how much they will let you in, you cannot have genuine intimacy in your relationship.

If one or both of you are doing things to protect yourself from being vulnerable, are living in denial, are going round the houses communicating, and struggle to be truly honest and authentic, intimacy isn’t happening.

And if it is true (Tolstoy was, after all, one of the most astute students of human nature who ever lived), then does that mean every healthy relationship of any kind is the same as any other of that same kind?

Does it mean that a healthy relationship between any particular father and son is substantially the same as any other between a father and son? As individual people, we can make a mess of our lives and relationships in ways so unique to us personally that no one could possibly imitate or duplicate. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.

I receive hundreds of emails each year where the person claims a deep connection – feeling connected through dysfunction and/or sex and attraction is not the same as intimacy.