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19-Jul-2016 12:21

So, Wendy, how much complimenting should a guy do on a first date?

How do you casually touch on a first date, or is that creepy?

Lindsay King-Miller, from the fantastic advice column (and now book) “Ask a Queer Chick,” coined the term “umfriend,” for when you’re in the in-between, not-totally-sure-what-to-call-it dating space.

Maybe this guy is just looking for a fun time, but you have given him signals that you want something more. He doesn't need to know your mom has been divorced three times, that your dog has a personality disorder and so on. Nothing will make him run faster than constantly picking a fight. Don't be afraid to disagree with him every now and then. It's hard to tell someone at the end of a nice evening that you enjoyed his or her company, but you don't feel a romantic connection.

Among all the invaluable lessons in authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider emphasize this point as the most important.

It may go against conventional dating advice, which encourages women to flirt and even strike up a conversation.

To avoid repeating the same mistakes over and over again, first you've got to recognize them.

So here goes: Dating Mistake #1: Approaching Him First.

Maybe this guy is just looking for a fun time, but you have given him signals that you want something more. He doesn't need to know your mom has been divorced three times, that your dog has a personality disorder and so on. Nothing will make him run faster than constantly picking a fight. Don't be afraid to disagree with him every now and then. It's hard to tell someone at the end of a nice evening that you enjoyed his or her company, but you don't feel a romantic connection.

Among all the invaluable lessons in authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider emphasize this point as the most important.

It may go against conventional dating advice, which encourages women to flirt and even strike up a conversation.

To avoid repeating the same mistakes over and over again, first you've got to recognize them.

So here goes: Dating Mistake #1: Approaching Him First.

(The Frisky) -- Dear Wendy: I'm a guy who has been dating online for a year and a half with very limited success.