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05-Aug-2016 08:20

Feminism has given women privileges without responsibility, and men are left with no choice but to pick up the slack.It's not fair, it's not "equal rights" and I won't stay quiet about it. But it certainly could be true, and I don't doubt that this scenario happens, more often than we would like to think.I looked at myself 20 years ago and had a startling and clear epiphany. I looked at the photo and came to the conclusion that I had made a real mess of my life. Of course the hair style was awful but that was the 80s and such styles could be forgiven. My life evolved into something painful and difficult.I felt the utter misery of my life come in waves of sadness, regret, anger, and loneliness. I saw the brightness in my eyes, the sparkle of life, of the great opportunities that were open to me. But until that moment when I looked at my photo from over two decades ago, I always blamed someone else.Eight police trigger pulls later the 42-year-old mechanic lay dead. It would not be an account of domestic violence, however, but a love story."This is the story of Dan Mc Govern," it began, "who friends and family say, loved cars, cops, guns and most of all, the woman he met after paying ,000 to a professional matchmaking service." The article barely mentioned domestic violence.

Among them: "this is a normal part of marriage...a family affair..was so angry he couldn't help it...there must be a reason he did this. The public thinks, 'if she would just change her behavior,' rather than if he would just change his behavior." "It's not a love story when a man beats a woman so seriously that she goes to the hospital with severe head injuries," reporter Michelle Guido complained.

A friend of mine sent me this essay, from the Don't Marry blog. Something very similar happened to the friend who sent it to me. On the cusp of my 45th birthday, I made the mistake of looking in the mirror.

It's really kind of long, but really worth your time. It wasn’t the bathroom mirror, it was a photo I had from graduate school. It was so sad that I involuntarily burst into tears, something I haven’t done since the dark days of my divorce.

The dramatic front-page story, they charged, reinforced warped stereotypes about violence between intimate partners: directing sympathy to the batterer and disparaging the victim.

"I heard some people react to this story that maybe she [the wife] tricked him to get over here," said Rolanda Pierre-Dixon, the attorney who leads the domestic violence unit at the Santa Clara County Prosecutors Office. ' and 'geez, he finally met the love of his life and she deserted him.'" "If I'm a woman and I'm getting beaten, and I read this story, it's tremendously negative because my batterer is telling me all the time no one would believe me," fumed Lisa Breen Strickland, executive director of the Support Network for Battered Women in Mountain View.

Among them: "this is a normal part of marriage...a family affair..was so angry he couldn't help it...there must be a reason he did this. The public thinks, 'if she would just change her behavior,' rather than if he would just change his behavior." "It's not a love story when a man beats a woman so seriously that she goes to the hospital with severe head injuries," reporter Michelle Guido complained.

A friend of mine sent me this essay, from the Don't Marry blog. Something very similar happened to the friend who sent it to me. On the cusp of my 45th birthday, I made the mistake of looking in the mirror.

It's really kind of long, but really worth your time. It wasn’t the bathroom mirror, it was a photo I had from graduate school. It was so sad that I involuntarily burst into tears, something I haven’t done since the dark days of my divorce.

The dramatic front-page story, they charged, reinforced warped stereotypes about violence between intimate partners: directing sympathy to the batterer and disparaging the victim.

"I heard some people react to this story that maybe she [the wife] tricked him to get over here," said Rolanda Pierre-Dixon, the attorney who leads the domestic violence unit at the Santa Clara County Prosecutors Office. ' and 'geez, he finally met the love of his life and she deserted him.'" "If I'm a woman and I'm getting beaten, and I read this story, it's tremendously negative because my batterer is telling me all the time no one would believe me," fumed Lisa Breen Strickland, executive director of the Support Network for Battered Women in Mountain View.

I have probably more dates than the average woman and I just can’t seem to find a guy I want to date.